When I was young I did not know I was young. We had a female pastor when I was a kid. I didn't really learn till later that this was a big deal. It was the most normal thing to me. There were many women around me. I had six grandmas. Well I had one granny. Three sisters and where I was there was usually women.
Barbara was the first female pastor at Nottingham. She could do a sermon with the best of them, but she was really something when she did the things that where uniquely her. I remember she did a monologue as Nahomi in front of the church. I didn't know that pastors could do that.
She was the first one to ever ask me to do anything here. Officially. She asked me to be the youth representative to the administrative board. Newly graduated from high school I didn't feel young. It felt important. We used to have those meetings at people's houses. That first meeting there were a lot of us; fourteen I remember. I learned the Methodist discipline not from reading but from doing. Everything in that book they did. They followed the letter and the spirit of the rule.
We discussed the Pastor's compensation this was surprising, but made perfect sense to me. There was a procedure for everything we did and everybody seemed to know it. Later in my life things changed. Some for the better and some for the worse. I will admit to being a bit of a stickler, but I was truly spoiled and these conversations would always be different, but followed a familiar pattern.
Most of my teachers were women. Barbara knew what she was doing. Generations come and generations go, but there is discipline. A big part of why I am here today are the questions she asked me. I certainly would not be here if our religion was really a handmaid's tale.
Every time I have dug deep in the bible I have not been disappointed. We questioned everything at those meetings, but we also had other questions at bible study. We questioned everything. This was our method.
In that spirit we dig a little deeper into Proverbs 31:10-31 which I read from the Amplified Bible. The verses are written as an acrostic poem (each of the twenty-two verses begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet). Aside from the artistry, the acrostic structure also aided memorization. We used to have to remember a lot more things
10 An excellent woman [one who is spiritual, capable, intelligent, and virtuous], who is he who can find her?
Her value is more precious than jewels and her worth is far above rubies or pearls.
So here this is what I want to talk to you about. When my daughter was young we travelled to see her family in Serbia. When she was nervous she would cry out, "Daddy." Her grandfather could not believe. He did not think men could be so close to babies, but he had seen it now. He was quite a man. He didn't stand around worried about how his opinion had been changed. He acted on the new knowledge. He became very close with my daughter. They would disappear in the morning on the bus to town when she was two and they would arrive home with new bicycles among other things they picked up.
It was a sight for me to see. Later when he had a grandson he knew the type of relationship they would have.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her [with secure confidence],
And he will have no lack of gain.
The whole experience was subtly made possible by his wife. Just the right nudges for both of them and they were off.
12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good and not evil
All the days of her life.
There is a theme here that shows these gender roles we are so hung up on are really just responsibilities that anyone can assume. I will argue that the Christian Bible taken on the whole is really the first feminist manifesto. Imagine my delight at coming to this conclusion. This is why I am here. I was looking all my life for something more radical and it was always here. This method. This meritocracy.
The Babylonian Code of Hammurabi provides a legalistic view of women's roles in society. It outlines the rights and responsibilities of women in marriage, property ownership, and family law. Women had legal standing and could own property and engage in business, but they were also heavily regulated within the context of family and marriage.
In ancient Greece, a more patriarchal view of women, especially in the description of Pandora, the first woman created by the gods. Pandora presented as a "beautiful evil" sent to mankind as a punishment. This portrayal contributes to a broader cultural view of women as subservient and often dangerous or deceptive.
According to the myth, Pandora was the first woman created by the gods, each of whom contributed something to her creation, making her both beautiful and cunning. Her name, "Pandora," means "all-gifted" or "gift of all," reflecting that each god gave her a special trait. She was sculpted by Hephaestus, the god of fire and craftsmanship, at the request of Zeus, who wanted to punish humanity for receiving fire from Prometheus.
13 She looks for wool and flax
And works with willing hands in delight.
14 She is like the merchant ships [abounding with treasure];
She brings her [household’s] food from far away.
The Proverbs 31 woman stands out for her dynamic blend of domestic, economic, and spiritual leadership. Unlike many contemporary depictions that either limited women to household roles or cast them in negative light, Proverbs 31 praises a woman for her wisdom, business acumen, and contributions to both family and community. The Proverbs 31 woman embodies intelligence and strength. A remarkably holistic view of women's capabilities compared to many other descriptions from the ancient world.
15 She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And assigns tasks to her maids.
More women serve certain roles. More Men serve certain roles. I think it is true that more women still rise while it is still night. Not every guy can sleep. My mother worked nights when I was young. There were four of us at times all of us sick. My dad was risen many nights.
16 She considers a field before she buys or accepts it [expanding her business prudently];
With her profits she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.
17 She equips herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task]
And makes her arms strong.
Women merchants were vital to early Christianity, helping spread the faith and supporting the church financially. Figures like Lydia were early converts who hosted missionaries and led house churches. Their roles as traders gave them influence and mobility, making them key to the church's growth and community-building.
18 She sees that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out, but it burns continually through the night [she is prepared for whatever lies ahead].
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands hold the spindle [as she spins wool into thread for clothing].
20 She opens and extends her hand to the poor,
And she reaches out her filled hands to the needy.
Confucianism, which began to develop around the same time as the later portions of the Hebrew Bible, shaped much of Chinese thought about gender roles. Confucian teachings focused on hierarchical relationships, with women’s roles being primarily defined by their relationships to men—father, husband, and son. The "Three Obediences" (obedience to father, husband, and sons) were central to women’s expected behavior.
21 She does not fear the snow for her household,
For all in her household are clothed in [expensive] scarlet [wool].
22 She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry.
Her clothing is linen, pure and fine, and purple [wool].
23 Her husband is known in the [city’s] gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
Taoism offered a somewhat more fluid view of gender roles, with women seen as embodying the principle of yin—the receptive, nurturing, and passive force of the universe. While this still placed women in a complementary and often subservient roles to men, it acknowledged the inherent power of yin and the importance of balance between masculine (yang) and feminine forces.
24 She makes [fine] linen garments and sells them;
And supplies sashes to the merchants.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure;
And she smiles at the future [knowing that she and her family are prepared].
26 She opens her mouth in [skillful and godly] wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue [giving counsel and instruction].
In ancient Chinese texts, women were generally seen as playing crucial roles in the family, particularly as mothers, wives, and caretakers. Confucian ideals emphasized obedience and submission. Taoist thought offered a more balanced view of gender, acknowledging the power and importance of feminine principles in the cosmic order. It suggests that the "gentle" approach can overcome the "hard" and that nurturing qualities are powerful in fostering growth and harmony. This perspective elevates the feminine role, showing that strength can come from gentleness and wisdom, rather than dominance. Traditional roles may assign women as subordinate, the underlying principles of Taoism affirm their crucial role in the cosmic balance.
27 She looks well to how things go in her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Celtic mythology is rich with powerful goddesses who represent a wide range of roles, from warriors to protectors of the land to figures of fertility and sovereignty. These mythological depictions provide a sense of the reverence for the feminine in both the spiritual and temporal realms.
Brigid, who was both a goddess and later venerated as a Christian saint. Brigid was associated with fertility, healing, and wisdom, embodying the nurturing aspects of the feminine. When a devastating drought struck the land, she gathered the clouds with her song and danced beneath the sky, bringing rain to revive the fields.
As Christianity spread, Brigid transformed into a beloved saint. She founded a monastery at Kildare, continuing to nurture the spiritual and physical needs of her people. Her essence as a protector of home and community endured, blending the old and new.
Through her stories, Brigid reminds us of the vital connection between faith, nature, and the importance of nurturing life.
Celtic goddesses often represent broader, more cosmic forces of life, death, and sovereignty. This reflects a more expansive view of feminine power, encompassing both nurturing and martial qualities.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, prosperous, to be admired);
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying,
29 “Many daughters have done nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness],
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm and grace are deceptive, and [superficial] beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect], she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the product of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city].
The source of this remarkable woman’s success and competence is revealed: a woman who fears the Lord [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect], she shall be praised., and it is a source available to everyone
Proverbs 31:10-31 describes the "virtuous woman" or "woman of noble character," and while there's no direct parallel passage specifically describing an ideal man in the same format, there are several passages in the Bible that speak to the qualities expected of men, especially in terms of character, leadership, and conduct. Here are a few key passages:
1 Timothy 3:1-7 & Titus 1:6-9
These passages describe the qualifications for church leaders (overseers and elders) but are often applied as a general model for Christian men. They emphasize qualities like being above reproach, faithful to one’s spouse, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, and not given to drunkenness or violence.
From 1 Timothy 3:2-4 (NIV): "Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect."
This was the vision my daughter's grandpa had, it wasn't a wrong vison, just incomplete he learned.
From Psalm 112:4-5 (NIV): "Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely, who conduct their affairs with justice."
Ephesians 5:25 (NIV): "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Micah 6:8 (NIV): "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
These passages together give a picture of a man of integrity, responsibility, self-control, love, and justice—qualities that complement the noble characteristics of the woman described in Proverbs 31.
One of the most interesting aspects of Proverbs 31:10-31 is its portrayal of a virtuous woman as a figure of strength, wisdom, and influence, which is remarkable given the cultural context of the time. The "virtuous woman" is portrayed as a capable leader, both in her household and in business. She manages her household efficiently, makes financial decisions (buying a field), engages in trade (with merchants and in the market), and provides for her family’s needs.
The passage is part of the wisdom literature tradition, and it highlights the importance of wisdom as a virtue. The woman is wise in her dealings, speaks with wisdom, and her character reflects her fear of the Lord, which is presented as her highest virtue. This emphasis on wisdom, paired with reverence for God, aligns the noble woman with the core values of wisdom literature, making her an idealized figure not only for women but for all believers.
The woman is constantly at work—This counters the stereotype of women being passive. Not only focused on her household but also extends her generosity and care to the poor and needy in her community. Her compassion and her integral role in community life, show that her virtue is not self-contained but has a social and ethical dimension.
While the passage explicitly addresses women, it also serves as a model of virtue for men. The traits of diligence, wisdom, strength, and reverence for God are equally applicable to all believers. The passage sets a high standard for human character in general, regardless of gender.
At a time when women were often viewed as subordinate or limited in their roles, Proverbs 31 paints a different picture. The virtuous woman is celebrated not merely for her beauty or domesticity but for her intellect, moral strength, and economic acumen. Her value is based on her character and her relationship with God rather than her appearance or status.
The passage promotes the idea that lasting value is found in internal qualities like wisdom, faithfulness, and reverence for God. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
This passage is a profound and holistic representation of virtue, emphasizing spiritual depth, practical wisdom, and social responsibility. It celebrates women in a way that affirms their value in every aspect of life, making it timeless and applicable across cultures and contexts.
Proverbs 31:10-31 radically redefines womanhood, portraying her as a powerful, independent leader—managing business, family, and community.
Leadership, wisdom, and care are not inherently tied to gender but rather to personal qualities and a sense of duty. Gender roles have historically been more about cultural assignments rather than divine or biological imperatives. In many societies, certain tasks were divided by gender, not because one gender was inherently better suited for them, but because of tradition or convenience. Barbara, as the first female pastor here, took on roles typically assigned to men —leading, preaching, guiding—but did so with her unique strengths.
Traditional gender roles are responsibilities that can be picked up by anyone who is willing to meet the demands. Qualities like compassion, leadership, and stewardship are not gendered, but human virtues. The women in my life carried responsibilities like teaching, nurturing, leading, and supporting. They did these not because they were women, but because they were capable and committed.
While Proverbs 31:10-31 is often cited as an example of a virtuous woman, the qualities described—strength, wisdom, diligence—are responsibilities anyone can embody. Men are called to these same standards elsewhere in the Bible. Men like Joseph, Moses, and Jesus assume similar responsibilities of care, leadership, and wisdom. The virtues described in Proverbs 31 aren't exclusive to women; they are human virtues.
Barbara’s leadership shattered expectations, showing that being a pastor—preaching, guiding, and nurturing—is not inherently male or female, but a role anyone can excel in if they have the commitment and passion. Her style of leadership wasn’t about proving herself as a woman but about embodying the responsibilities of a pastor.
The church, like many institutions, has historically assigned certain roles based on gender. Yet, as society and faith communities grow, these roles have expanded, allowing people like Barbara to step into responsibilities once denied to them. My own experience growing up with women in leadership positions shaped my understanding that leadership isn’t tied to gender, but to responsibility and calling.
Gender roles are opportunities rather than limitations. Anyone, regardless of gender, should be able to take on responsibilities that reflect their talents, strengths, and calling. I was given responsibilities based on my abilities and not my age—just as anyone can take on leadership, nurturing, or supportive roles regardless of gender.
Gender roles as responsibilities offers a way to honor the qualities that Proverbs 31 celebrates while also broadening the conversation to include everyone—male or female or anyone else—who embodies these virtues. She opens and extends her hand to the poor and she reaches out her filled hands to the needy.
The virtuous woman can also be thought of as the church. I would just note to you that in many languages the word church itself is feminine.
Let Us Pray
Loving God,
We thank You for the wisdom, strength, and grace You have placed within each of us. Help us to see beyond the boundaries of gender, and to embrace the responsibilities we are called to with open hearts and willing hands.
Teach us to value one another for the gifts You have given, to serve with humility, to lead with compassion, and to support one another in love. Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
May we leave this place renewed by Your Spirit, ready to carry Your love and light into the world, as we honor the unique callings You have placed on each of our lives.
In Your holy name we pray, Amen.
Benediction
Go now in peace,
Empowered by God's love and strengthened by God's grace.
May you embrace your calling, walk in wisdom,
And serve with compassion,
As you carry God's light into the world.
Amen.
Nottingham UMC 9/22/2024
